You awake? Love you, it's just that now I'm not depressed any more I ..
What time....Your not depressed any more? Well I love you that's great news. You mean you've come through it?
I've come through a cure and because we love each other it's .. we do love each other don't we?
Yes! We love each other.. what cure? What's happened?
No - I'll fuck off it's too early..
Hi how was work? Love you, did you have a good day. I watched TV. It's different without depression somehow.
Well for a start I was thinking about what you said all day, about not being depressed any more. I love you
We love each other
We do love each other, but you have to tell me about your depression and how such a turn about happened?
What time is it?
About half 7
I'm off to bed..night.
Love you, morning. Thought I'd bring you a cuppa cus I saw you were awake but Ken had all the milk in his White Russian before he went on duty
What time is it? Ken had a White Russian before he went on duty? Why was he here? What time is it?
I'm still not depressed, love you. Do you love me?
Ah depressed, tell me what happened, I love you - why was Ken here?
He had White Russian's , we love each other don't we ? Ken helped us with depression
Ken helped us with depression? Who's US - How, what the.. oh too early Fuck Off!
I said I wasn't depressed because I saw the air rifle, love you
Love you, what time is it? What air riffle ? What has been going on?!
Well every one who said they were depressed got shot up the arse with an air riffle. And the next day when he asked them again....they weren't depressed any more....Love you too.
Did you have a good day? I just watched..
Never mind Tele.. what was you talking about this morning. I was half asleep! I fuckin love but sometimes I'm at my wits end! Did someone get shot, up the arse?!
Ken phoned, he wants to do another one, I'm still happy and I love you..and
Ken phoned about what? What another one! Ahhh why are you still happy!? Ffs KEN!!
☕️ ahh..coffee, what time is it?
Love you, will Ken ever come back - is this the weekend?
Love you too, I don't know if we'll see Ken again..
Did you tell him off? He said you told him off. He said it was a fine start to the weekend. Is this the weekend?
Yes this is the weekend- my coffee is black..did Ken have a White Russian this morning?
I love you, I like the weekend.No Ken didn't have a White Russian this morning..
Oh right, I'm glad you like the weekend, love you too..
He had 4.... love you
Booze & Personal Stuff..
Jo's mum rushed into intensive care puts things into perspective... After days of visiting her mum I managed to drag Jo and Daisy away to Hop Farm for camping in ELBY van .... the thing I love most in life is making breakfast for Jo and Daisy in a field as we camp with our van..
Starting to lose a bit of my Belly even though I haven't cut out the booze. Just simple changes now although I did a carb free 24 hours - that included booze.. I was going for another day but felt so tired at the office I could have slept! I decided to send out for a chocolate snack with nuts in. Not naming because I didn't check for palm oil I just devoured it! I was looking for the wrapper afterward to check for palm oil but I couldn't find it! I have 2 conclusions 1/ my alter ego surfaced and destroyed the wrapper for as yet unknown reasons...or 2/ I ate the bar - wrapper and all in a carb frenzy?!
The guilt I felt was enormous but I held steadfast and avoided carbs for the rest of the day/eve. (apart from a few glasses of wine)
The next morning my wife Jo ordered breakfast from a cafe for me her and Daisy as a treat....
Now the war opened up on 2 fronts...1/carbs and 2/ meat
The toast and the sausage became for an instant my reason for living... then without warning bacon!
Sheepishly I picked up my plate leaving behind the toast and the bacon. I am not proud of the fact that a lot of my close friends and loved ones are aware of my addiction to sausages, a genetic weakness on my fathers side.
I had been clean for about a month, but something snapped and I broke.
Soon after I went back for a slice of toast and then for a rasher of bacon.
I bounced back the following day and decided that eating a minimal amount of carbs, for example 1 slice of toast with my scrambled eggs - was the way forward. This has worked and apart from fish I have also resisted meat.
I've realised that food can be a trap, and ind if you don't respect it's power it will take over your body! Carbs in particular are very powerful, the moment you have eaten them they message your brain to think of more, then more...
I view carbs as a treat now, I have to because I'm 53 and 5'8 - my weight can escalate very fast!
Keep you posted - pp
Hang on.... I just bought some I'll be honest....pp x
Back later on this....
Well I seem to have slipped back into my old pattern. Not as bad but bad enough for me to do a dry June. 🥃😡