As Thousands Flock To The 'Industries' Many! Comparison Site Annual Weekend Parties... Which One Is Best? - We go 'Old School' and have a look!
"WIFE HIGH" The new controversial public internet challengerisationer has had a mayjor setback after she refused to get down on Tuesday - Recent reports indicate a normal to average WiFi measurement - although her husband said he thought she had put on a few pounds at the casino - This may or may not have resulted in the 'reverse lie in.' Rumours of the Wife sleeping aloft in the loft are highly doubtful erable until we get the pictures back from a -com- -com- comparison able isationing photo comparerer - strictly LLLegal - zzzzz ah narcolism !!
Earlier Security Guard has A Good Cry
When security was called today, he started crying and said at school it was a easier. Being a security guard at the school was a lot easier, primary anyway - when they came for him he shouted......
WOHHH..........We're going to Barbados ... x
More and More reports of Thousands Sick of Cashback!
CASHBACK CASHBACK!! - Shut up!
We're just getting reports about the twat banging on about cashback rewards - cashback rewards this- cashback rewards that - he still maintains that by buying things you will get your money back! Have a word with your Mum and Dad or Grandparents about this claim... or better still, have a think yourself? mmmm Cashback mmm Doh!
Another success story here, the award winning 'We Got MMMore Hhotel init' the app that finds the best app to find the best app to help you find the best App to get you the best hotel, has posted a record $12 Billion profit from It's off shore Head Office.
Sadly this coincided with a %60 increase in hotel closures around the globe. Each closure is filmed though and you can view on the 'We Got MMMMore Hotel website - Enjoy!
Violence erupted in Costa Nero earlier as the WiFi speed dropped below the standard required to not have to look up for any reason. Police were called after screams in the toilet were heard which remarkably coincided with a 63 man posing as a 19 year girl also complaining about a failed snap chat pic. The unnamed for legal reasons sexual predator is suing the WiFi supplier and the 19 girl was cautioned for attempting to lead a 63 year old pervert on -
We're just getting reports of a WiFi prob in the Holloway area... the neighbours agreed to talk to us if we change their sex - Mrs Norman said - "It was awful, "Get Me A Bagel I'm Starving!" Was heard ...followed by an older more frail voice...."I'm just doing the laundry and cleaning the kitchen can't you do yourself a bagel your 14 now....?" The neighbour described how this seemed to escalate the situation, Mr Norman sorry Mrs Norman said he heard the screams as if they were from the dark primeminister witch herself!
"Right I'll starve then! That's what you want! I hate you! I hate living here! I'm so full of anxiety why don't you understand me???!!"
We'll keep you up to date, but the person denying a bagel to that distressed young person dealing with intermittent WiFi - may well be in trouble...!
On a positive note, Mr Norman has realised he wants to be Mrs Norman and thankfully Mrs Norman wants to be Mr Norman! For legal reasons the identity of the neighbour below is still changed. So the witness Mrs Norman who was Mr Norman but who now will be Mrs Norman as stated - will still be seen to be Mrs Norman - for the court. Any bagel advertising is strongly denied by both Mr and Mrs Norman then, and Mrs and Mr Norman now!
An angry outburst calling for political change that swamped social media earlier today came to an abrupt end after the Uber Eats app crashed - mopeds carrying a plethora of multi national take away food convened peacefully or collided in a violent frenzy in (can't disclose for legal reasons and your all stupid) location....depending on your algorithm - after repeated attempts and failing to get parents to deliver food - the political change organisation was shelved after Wi Fi networks promised to increase broadband speed - as well as trying to explain that free and three are not the same in the London areap;''''''''oi0 that was Mitzi not me!
You awake? Love you..
Love you too, what time is it?
Have you heard about Ken, it's early. We love each other don't we?
Yes we do love each other.. have I heard what about Ken.. oh don't tell me.. he's had all my organic semi skimmed and mixed it with my Bison & Kaluah and gone dude first thing!
They said Ken was in hospital
fuck off?.. Who said..Who said Ken was in hospital?!
We're going to the hospital together aren't we?
Yes, we are.
And we love each other don't we?
Yes, we love each other, and we are going to the hospital together.
I'm a brave soldier for going aren't I, you said. Is Ken a brave soldier? Love you.
Yes I did say. And yes..Ken is a brave soldier. Love you.
We love each other..
We do love each other.
Will Ken be ok?
I don't know - I don't know
Booze & Personal Stuff..
Jo's mum rushed into intensive care puts things into perspective... After days of visiting her mum I managed to drag Jo and Daisy away to Hop Farm for camping in ELBY van .... the thing I love most in life is making breakfast for Jo and Daisy in a field as we camp with our van..
Starting to lose a bit of my Belly even though I haven't cut out the booze. Just simple changes now although I did a carb free 24 hours - that included booze.. I was going for another day but felt so tired at the office I could have slept! I decided to send out for a chocolate snack with nuts in. Not naming because I didn't check for palm oil I just devoured it! I was looking for the wrapper afterward to check for palm oil but I couldn't find it! I have 2 conclusions 1/ my alter ego surfaced and destroyed the wrapper for as yet unknown reasons...or 2/ I ate the bar - wrapper and all in a carb frenzy?!
The guilt I felt was enormous but I held steadfast and avoided carbs for the rest of the day/eve. (apart from a few glasses of wine)
The next morning my wife Jo ordered breakfast from a cafe for me her and Daisy as a treat....
Now the war opened up on 2 fronts...1/carbs and 2/ meat
The toast and the sausage became for an instant my reason for living... then without warning bacon!
Sheepishly I picked up my plate leaving behind the toast and the bacon. I am not proud of the fact that a lot of my close friends and loved ones are aware of my addiction to sausages, a genetic weakness on my fathers side.
I had been clean for about a month, but something snapped and I broke.
Soon after I went back for a slice of toast and then for a rasher of bacon.
I bounced back the following day and decided that eating a minimal amount of carbs, for example 1 slice of toast with my scrambled eggs - was the way forward. This has worked and apart from fish I have also resisted meat.
I've realised that food can be a trap, and ind if you don't respect it's power it will take over your body! Carbs in particular are very powerful, the moment you have eaten them they message your brain to think of more, then more...
I view carbs as a treat now, I have to because I'm 53 and 5'8 - my weight can escalate very fast!
Keep you posted - pp
Hang on.... I just bought some I'll be honest....pp x
Back later on this....
Well I seem to have slipped back into my old pattern. Not as bad but bad enough for me to do a dry June. 🥃😡