Hi Mum/Dad this is unexpected, come in...
Mum & Dad : We were pricing up a full boiler swap near hhere, state of the art combi - with full remote emotional package...so your dad - WE Thought/felt We should call in...
Glad you did, you've got matching boiler suits on, they look nice. Do you both want a cup of tea?
Mum to Dad : (shut your mouth!) Mum & Dad : Please, yes please milk 3 sugars..
Mum (looking @ Dad) : You like our suits I heard?
Sorry mum what?
You like our suits I heard?
There you are..
: You've got hard water, very hard, did you warm the pot?
What did you say mum?
You've got hard water, very hard, did you warm the pot?
Yes I always warm the pot, and the tea is supposed to be for hard water mum..
Did you let it mash? (you little prick- under his breath)
You what dad?
Did you let it mash? Son?
Oh yeah, I always let it mash...well brew, they say brew here...
Mum: It's got a funny taste...
Dad: It's hard water - and it's not been mashed.
Dad : Can you hear that boiler?
Mum : It's the rads...not the boiler..
Dad : Could be the rads...
Mum : It is the rads!
Dad : I think it's the rads..
What about the boiler? What are rads?
Mum & Dad : Radiators!
Mum : Right, I've got my bleeding key,
Dad : So have I!
Mum : I'll start at the one furthest from the boiler John, and we'll work over and over..
Dad : Right..
No STOP! Please Stop! -
The radiators are fine, please It's nothing,
I really don't want you to start doing plumbing!
Mum & Dad : Won't take long...
PLEASE! IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK..!
IT'S THE MAN...
IT'S THE MAN UPSTAIRS!!
Mum & Dad : What about the man upstairs?
What does he do?
What does the man upstairs do?!
OK! - JESUS CHRIST!
He Saws Trumpets in Half!
He SAWS Trumpets in half - There, now I've said it!
He ..sometimes..saws ..
Oh for the love of Christ! please -
can we just leave it..
Booze & Personal Stuff..
Jo's mum rushed into intensive care puts things into perspective... After days of visiting her mum I managed to drag Jo and Daisy away to Hop Farm for camping in ELBY van .... the thing I love most in life is making breakfast for Jo and Daisy in a field as we camp with our van..
Starting to lose a bit of my Belly even though I haven't cut out the booze. Just simple changes now although I did a carb free 24 hours - that included booze.. I was going for another day but felt so tired at the office I could have slept! I decided to send out for a chocolate snack with nuts in. Not naming because I didn't check for palm oil I just devoured it! I was looking for the wrapper afterward to check for palm oil but I couldn't find it! I have 2 conclusions 1/ my alter ego surfaced and destroyed the wrapper for as yet unknown reasons...or 2/ I ate the bar - wrapper and all in a carb frenzy?!
The guilt I felt was enormous but I held steadfast and avoided carbs for the rest of the day/eve. (apart from a few glasses of wine)
The next morning my wife Jo ordered breakfast from a cafe for me her and Daisy as a treat....
Now the war opened up on 2 fronts...1/carbs and 2/ meat
The toast and the sausage became for an instant my reason for living... then without warning bacon!
Sheepishly I picked up my plate leaving behind the toast and the bacon. I am not proud of the fact that a lot of my close friends and loved ones are aware of my addiction to sausages, a genetic weakness on my fathers side.
I had been clean for about a month, but something snapped and I broke.
Soon after I went back for a slice of toast and then for a rasher of bacon.
I bounced back the following day and decided that eating a minimal amount of carbs, for example 1 slice of toast with my scrambled eggs - was the way forward. This has worked and apart from fish I have also resisted meat.
I've realised that food can be a trap, and ind if you don't respect it's power it will take over your body! Carbs in particular are very powerful, the moment you have eaten them they message your brain to think of more, then more...
I view carbs as a treat now, I have to because I'm 53 and 5'8 - my weight can escalate very fast!
Keep you posted - pp
Hang on.... I just bought some I'll be honest....pp x
Back later on this....
Well I seem to have slipped back into my old pattern. Not as bad but bad enough for me to do a dry June. 🥃😡